Over the years, these are the questions we get asked most often. Simply refer to this as needed.
What is the process for premarital counseling?
The law requires for a minimum of 10 cumulative hours of counseling and study, so couples are asked to participate in either a small group that focuses on marriage principles, or at least 3 sessions with a pastor or appointed counselor(s). There will be small homework assignments designed to be very encouraging and helpful. These are usually conducted in person, but we can accommodate unusual circumstances by also conducting these session through videoconferencing. Here is an overview of what each counseling session may entail:
How do I get my marriage license?
Upon completion of premarital counseling, you will be presented with a notarized certificate of completion that you then take to a courthouse to purchase a marriage license. That certificate will allow you to receive a discount on your license. You must apply for a marriage license in a courthouse in the same state where your ceremony will be held, as long as you are a resident of that state. If you are coming from out of state, you must obtain your marriage license from the courthouse in the county where your ceremony will be held. State laws may vary and are subject to change, so we recommend contacting the courthouse in advance to verify all requirements.
After your ceremony, the minister will sign your marriage license so you can mail or deliver it back to the courthouse. They will then send you an official marriage certificate in the mail.
Can I have my wedding at Heritage?Contact Michelle Bowen at (229) 456-0138 or
michelle@heritagelife.org to inquire about renting a space on the Heritage campus. Due to the high number of requests, we are currently only able to offer space to members who complete the premarital counseling process.
Note: Premarital counseling takes at least a month to complete, so we are unable to accommodate last minute wedding requests. How much does it cost to have a wedding at Heritage?
We want your wedding to be very affordable and only charge what is required to hire a cleaning crew and technicians (if needed). Michelle Bowen will meet with you to share all potential costs based on the venue and staff required.
Can I have alcohol at the reception if I use a Heritage venue?
For liability reasons, Heritage is an alcohol-free facility.
Is there a fee for the minister?
At Heritage, we work hard to serve each couple in preparation for marriage. The minister will often spend many hours during the counseling process, wedding rehearsal, and ceremony. We leave it up to the couple to decide how much to give the minister, but the suggested amount is a range from $200 - $300. Of course we are willing to work with couples who have financial burdens. Couples are encouraged to compensate the minister prior to the ceremony date.
How do I prepare for my wedding ceremony?
There are a few people we recommend you include as your prepare for your ceremony. Of course, smaller weddings are usually simpler and may not require as much help, while larger weddings may call for even more assistance. These are some of the most common roles to consider:
Wedding Party: These are the people you want to include in your ceremony.
Wedding Planner: This person’s job is to help you plan the event and all of the details that are needed to
carry it out.
Wedding Director: The wedding director plays the important role of implementing the plan by overseeing the rehearsal, ceremony, and reception.
Minister: The minister performs the ceremony.
Other: The wedding planner should be able to help you make decisions if other roles are needed, such as technicians, photographer, videographer, decorators, food preparers, DJ, cleaning crew, etc.
As far as ceremony elements, there are many websites that may inspire ideas, but we have included a list of the most common elements in the next section.
You can also find many “checklists” online to help you make a game plan leading up to your ceremony. We strongly urge couples not to get carried away with planning an expensive wedding event. Cut costs and simplify wherever possible. We have found that smaller, simpler weddings are often the most intimate and just as memorable. You do not want to start your marriage with a lot of debt and financial strain. We can connect you financial counselors if needed.
What is a typical ceremony like?Some couples have thought about their wedding day for a long time and have very specific ideas, while others are starting from scratch. There are many ways to approach your ceremony, and the minister will work with you to craft a ceremony that is Christ-centered, enjoyable, and very meaningful. Below is a list of some of the most common ceremony elements (note: some ceremonies will have a simpler format than this, and some will be more complex):
Seating of Parents & Grandparents- Sometimes the bride and groom will include a special seating of parents and grandparents to signal the start of the ceremony.
Processional- This is simply the wedding party making its entrance. You will want to make sure everyone understands how, when, from where, and with whom they enter.
Presentation of the Bride- The minister will want to be very clear on this cue, gesturing for the crowd to stand just before the bride makes her entrance.
- It is typical for someone (often her father) to escort the bride down the aisle.
- If the ceremony takes place on an elevated platform, this segment will usually take place at ground level. After the presentation of the bride, the minister will ask everyone to be seated and the minister, groom, and bride (and sometimes the best man & maid/matron of honor) will walk to their final position.
Charge to the Bride & Groom- The minister will offer a short word of scriptural encouragement to the bride and groom, pulling from their love story, etc. to personalize the ceremony.
Marriage Vows- The traditional approach is for the minister to ask (usually the groom first) a couple of questions to which the bride and groom respond with “I do”. Note: the minister will make sure the bride and groom are facing each other during the vows and exchange of rings.
- If the couple chooses to write their own vows, we suggest that they have them written on a card. We also encourage the bride and groom to give each other an approximate word count as they prepare their vows. Even if they use their own vows, the minister will still ask the “I do” questions.
Exchange of Rings- Since the bride and groom are now facing each other and holding hands, the minister will ask for the rings and take them from the maid/matron of honor and best man. The minister will then briefly explain the significance of exchanging rings and then lead the bride and groom to repeat several short phrases to one another. The last line is typically, “With this ring, I thee wed”.
- During the rehearsal, the minister will usually have the bride & groom practice placing their ring on each other’s hand so they know which is the left hand and how they will handle the rings.
Special Element- Some couples choose to include a special element that has significant meaning to mark the beginning of their marriage. Commonly used elements include: Communion, a song (live or canned), a special reading, the lighting of a unity candle, tying a knot, braiding a cord of three strands, a sand ceremony, pouring soil/water in a plant/ tree, assembling a unity cross, group prayer, etc. Many ideas can be found online, and some couples choose to do something unique that is personal to them.
- If the bride and/or groom already has children, this can be a good time to do something special that includes the children.
Blessing & Prayer- At this time the minister will share a brief personal word to the bride and groom, followed by a prayer.
Pronouncement- This is the official pronouncement which includes the first kiss between husband and wife.
Recessional- This is the wedding party making their exit. Again, you will want to make sure everyone understands how, when, from where, and with whom they exit.
- Sometimes the bride and groom wish to include their parents and/or grandparents in the recessional. Either way, the minister will need to know who is the last person to make an official exit so he can then motion for the sound person to lower the sound enough to give instructions to the congregation regarding the reception.
Reception- Although not required, the bride and groom often have a social gathering after the ceremony to interact with guests (may include snacks, food, photos, a meal, dancing, etc.).
Do we need to have a rehearsal?Rehearsals are not required but are certainly helpful, especially if you have a large wedding party and/or several elements. The minister will usually walk you through the transitions to make sure you are comfortable with everything, but the primary purpose of the rehearsal is to make sure all ceremony participants know how to enter, where to stand, the role they play, cues, transitions, and how to exit. You are encouraged to secure a wedding director, whose job is to oversee the rehearsal to make sure the bride and groom and all participants are well prepared. Some of the practical points that should be covered at the rehearsal:
- Blocking & positioning
- Trafficflow
- Escorts
- Transitions
- Order of processional / recessional
- How to stand (groomsmen usually stand with hands in front of them and bridesmaids stand with their bouquets
approximately level with their bellybutton) - A reminder to everyone not to consume too much alcohol the night before or the day of the ceremony
- A reminder not to bring chewing tobacco, gum, cell phones, cigarettes, ball caps, sunglasses, etc. to the
ceremony - A reminder to the wedding party not to lock their knees or fully close their eyes during a prayer, especially if the
wedding is outdoors during the summer months - A review of the full schedule of activities on the day of the wedding
On a side note, through the years we have noticed it is common for family members or friends of the bride and groom to make jokes such as “there’s still time to run”, etc. They may also bring up superstitions (ex: rainfall on your wedding day is good luck while seeing each other before the ceremony is bad luck). Due to the very special and holy significance of marriage, and the fact that we rely on the Holy Spirit and not luck or superstitions, we encourage you to ask family and friends to refrain from these types of remarks. 